Rinda AngomEvery person has their own personality. Personality is defined as the characteristic sets of behaviours, cognitions, and emotional patterns that evolve from biological and environmental factors. Children often mimic people around them and their activities, your kids might have even picked up some traits from you. They will develop emotional, social and emotional skills with given situations or surroundings and therefore they need to be monitored very carefully.
However, monitoring doesn’t mean only lecturing them dos and don’ts and they probably won’t listen to you if you keep on going endlessly. All you have to do is just boost their confidence for the positive personality traits they have.
1) Be careful of what you do: As we already know children mostly learn from what they see, you have to be careful about what you are saying or doing around them. Technically, you shouldn’t be doing things you don’t want your kids to do.
2) Stop Comparison and Labelling: You shouldn’t label or compare your kids at any cost. They are still at the learning stage and they will start believing what you have labelled them. They can even become rebellious and turn out worst. Comparing them with other kids may also lower their morale and give them a feeling of not being worthy and hamper their confidence. Choose the right words while correcting their mistakes.
3) Pay Close Attention: Observe them as to what they are up to. Today’s kids are mostly engaged with phones and laptops and it’s important to watch over their online activities, keep a track of the hobbies, interests and habits they are developing. Encourage them to learn new things that will be beneficial for them.
4) Be a good listener: Parents are unable to give time to their kids because of their job and other commitments. Always take your time out for your kids, they would have a lot to say about themselves or express themselves. Listen to their problem, help them come out of it and this will help them build confidence in you.
Have more interactions and knowledge sharing sessions as this would help them open up more about their ideas and perceptions of the environment around them.
5) Don’t pressure them with your expectations: We understand that every parent expects their kids to excel in their studies or lives. Pressurising them with your expectations won’t be of any help rather they will be burdened and can even become rebellious. They will focus only on what you want them to excel in and take them away from what they are good at.
You should identify their capabilities and nurture them and encourage them.
6) Chalk out the rules: Instil your child with responsibility at an early age, this will provide them with a sense of purpose and discipline will come along automatically. Set some rules that must be followed like going to bed and waking up on time, brushing teeth or studying for an allotted time every day. Let them enjoy and have their own fun time but they should be aware of certain rules that they must follow.
7) Limit screen-time: The issue with the new age kids is their addiction to gadgets and especially after the lockdown the screen time has increased as even their studies are also done online. Monitor their screen time, limit it to only useful things like studying or good entertainment or connecting with friends & family.
Don’t get them hooked to gadget gaming all the time, make them do some physical activities or engage them in other games that can be done without the screen.
8) Be a role model: As the old saying goes- practice what you preach, you should be doing what you are asking out of your kids. When they are young they are most likely to mimic almost everything you do. They will not take you or your words seriously if you are not practising the rules you have set. Be at your best behaviour as much as possible and guide them.
9) Encourage Independence: You want to care for and nurture your kids but you can’t be doing this forever and someday, they will need to do things on their own. So, it’s important to set your child free from your care and not make them dependent on you all the time. Let them do certain things they can manage and handle on their own. This will also automatically improve their sense of responsibility.
10) Review your parenting skill: You will have to keep a check and review your parenting skills too. There might be times you are doing it wrong and need to change it according to the behaviour of your kids or how they are reacting to it. Take time to review your parenting skills and improvise them in a more desirable and effective way.
The development is going to be a long process, just be patient and gentle while explaining things to them. A consistent effort with proper training will help them imbibe good behaviour and attitude with positive values. Solving stress issues in children can also yield positive results while developing their personality. You don’t have to plan it perfectly all the time, just go with the flow while dealing the situations.
